Exclusive: DC Comics film slate revealed!

If you read about movies on the 'Net, surely you saw the release calendar for the Untitled DC Film movie series. A lot of people are skeptical Warner Brothers knows what these titles will actually be, but I have it on good authority that the timeline is pretty well planned and I have the whole scoop right here. Buckle your seatbelts!

August 5, 2016: Aquaman - Since it's been reported that Jason Momoa has signed on to play the titular character, it's a reasonable assumption that will be in this slot to help build toward...

June 23, 2017: Super Friends - We know that DC Entertainment is working toward a Justice League movie, and this is the version of the Justice League they're choosing. The idea is that they can beat Marvel at having more racially diverse heroes by introducing and then developing spin-off films for Black Vulcan, Apache Chief, El Dorado, and Samurai. In addition, the presence of Gleek will help create merchandise aimed at small children in spite of the fact it will be created in Zach Snyder's "dark, gritty, and speed-ramped" style.

WRESTLESSAINCE 2013

This was originally posted at LowBlowBlog.com, a wrestling blog I started but gave up on maintaining because that's how that stuff goes.

Daniel Bryan, arguably the favorite to 

win tonight’s Money in the Bank All-Stars match.

Ever since WrestleMania 29 earlier this year, the WWE product has seen arguably its biggest overhaul since the early Oughts when they figured out how to manage the influx of talent from their purchase of WCW. Its expanded, multiplatform storytelling strategies along with the new blood being placed in the main event scene has led to quite a few thoughts on the business swirling through my head.

This summer is a great time to be a WWE fan because we’re witnessing a bit of a renaissance, both in terms of talent elevation and how storylines unfold. We’re seeing a lot of relatively new faces being built into main eventers for the company, most notably Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler and CM Punk (who I realize has been around for awhile now, but he is still worth noting based on the astronomical leaps of faith WWE has put in him these past two years). Hell, they’ve finally managed to establish Mark Henry as a monster heel, and if John Cena weren’t booked as an unbeatable Superman every month, you’d think he would likely walk out of tonight’s Money in the Bank as the new champ.

Hunger Games: The Succulent Sixteen

In honor of both the impending release of The Hunger Games and March Madness, it only seemed appropriate to create a March Madness bracket to commemorate these two stars aligning. Disclaimer: this is based on my current knowledge of what The Hunger Games is, which is none. I assume it's some sort of food battle though.

That said, I proudly present to you The Succulent Sixteen. Mainly because I couldn't think of 64 food icons and personalities or how to put them into divisions.

The Succulent Sixteen

You can click that bracket to make it bigger, but for convenience, here are the different divisions and the competitors. Seeding is done by my discretion, which is why an obscure Gremlins 2 character has a higher seed than the Swedish Chef.

Notorious Food Lovers Division
1. Adam Richman - I wish I was half as passionate about anything as the Man v. Food host is about cuisine.
2. Paula Deen - Loves food so much she ate herself into diabetes.
3. Kobayashi - The man can eat hot dogs like nobody's business.
4. Barefoot Contessa - Nobody else can make a living out of loafing about enjoying food like this lady. At least, I think that's what she does.

Icon and Restaraunteur Division
1. Colonel Sanders - This man mass produced a recipe for chicken that's so good the KFC in my hometown ran out the day they reopened.
2. Slap Chop Guy - He may be a sleazeball, and I don't think he actually created the device, but boy does he talk it up a good game.
3. Bob Evans - This is the next best breakfast chain to IHOP. But IHOP doesn't have a name, so Bob Evans it is.
4 Mr. Food - He's the guy you see talking about on the news with a beard that says "Ooh, it's so good!"

Imaginary Culinist Division
1. Microwave With Marge - Ill-fated TV chef from Gremlins 2.
2. Swedish Chef - Yerupa doop a boop doop.
3. Chef - Specializes in salisbury steak for the children of South Park. Also, Scientology.
4. Jack Tripper - Three's Company character who always got into wacky misunderstandings. Lived like a playa (aka with two chicks).

Savory Symbol Division
1. Mr. Stay Puft - Physical manifestation of Gozer. Fond memory from the childhood of Ray Stantz.
2. "Original" Ray - Innovator of New York City pizza who I'm convinced is an urban legend.
3. Willy Wonka - Creepy candy dude.
4. Long John Silver - Fisherman who may have terrorized Jennifer Love Hewitt in a movie a couple times.

The Stupidest Movies of 2011

This was my snap review of Robots! in 3D.

Since I don't get paid to write about movies like many of the people I associate with, I have absolutely no obligation to see every film that comes out which allows me to curate my moviegoing decisions pretty well. Still, something will often slip through the cracks or my morbid curiosity will get the better of me so I always have a solid list of stinkers each year. Here are the movies that insulted my intelligence the most in 2011, presented in alphabetical odor order.

Digital comics are a good thing

I’ve been mulling over the big DC Comics announcement from yesterday and bemoaning a lot of things this presents from a storytelling standpoint (what will happen to Dick Grayson and all of the development Grant Morrison has given him? will there still be a Justice League International book?).  This has distracted me, and surely others, from considering the impact of the other half of that announcement - that DC Comics will be releasing their comics in a digital format the same day as the print editions are released

Brian Michael Bendis tweeted yesterday that it would kill local comic book shops.  That’s nonsense. It's simply a method to help facilitate a wider audience to have access to comics.

13 Year Old Me would have loved it.  In the wee town of Olean, NY, there’s a pretty tiny store that allegedly sells comics, but they really don’t get much in stock.  For example, when DC flagship event Blackest Night happened, I stopped in during my trip home for Christmastime to see if they had an issue and the guy working there had no clue what I was talking about.  The same goes with the frequency of theatrical releases becoming more readily available through video-on-demand while in theaters - Olean's movie theater would never play any arthouse films, and the closest theater that would is an hour and a half drive.  If technology like this prevents anyone in similar cultural dead zones from having to deal with a lack of access to things they're passionate about, I’m all for it.

Of course, Adult Me loves having a tangible product in his hands and is a compulsive collector of DVD's and comics. And since I live in a city where I can buy every comic that comes out each week, I’ll still be at my local comic book store every Wednesday. I know I’m not the only one.

I’d Really Like to See…Christopher Nolan Direct a Western

This originally appeared as part of Zoom In Online's weekly "I'd Really Like to See..." blog series on January 29, 2009... so don't expect this to mention Inception.

In his relatively short film career, Christopher Nolan has proven that he’s among the best filmmakers working today. He slowly gained notoriety for completely changing the way we look at film structure and the reliable narrator with Memento and in less than a decade of work he's helmed one of the biggest motion pictures of all time. While Nolan’s films typically share some similarities tonally and thematically, he’s proven he's admirably adept at directing a wide range of genres, from intimate thrillers such as Memento to big budget summer spectacles such as The Dark Knight. Taking into consideration his versatility and the characteristics seen in Nolan’s films, I’d like to see one of my favorite filmmakers diversify a bit further and take on one of my favorite, mostly forgotten genres: the Western.