Exclusive: DC Comics film slate revealed!

If you read about movies on the 'Net, surely you saw the release calendar for the Untitled DC Film movie series. A lot of people are skeptical Warner Brothers knows what these titles will actually be, but I have it on good authority that the timeline is pretty well planned and I have the whole scoop right here. Buckle your seatbelts!

August 5, 2016: Aquaman - Since it's been reported that Jason Momoa has signed on to play the titular character, it's a reasonable assumption that will be in this slot to help build toward...

June 23, 2017: Super Friends - We know that DC Entertainment is working toward a Justice League movie, and this is the version of the Justice League they're choosing. The idea is that they can beat Marvel at having more racially diverse heroes by introducing and then developing spin-off films for Black Vulcan, Apache Chief, El Dorado, and Samurai. In addition, the presence of Gleek will help create merchandise aimed at small children in spite of the fact it will be created in Zach Snyder's "dark, gritty, and speed-ramped" style.

WRESTLESSAINCE 2013

This was originally posted at LowBlowBlog.com, a wrestling blog I started but gave up on maintaining because that's how that stuff goes.

Daniel Bryan, arguably the favorite to 

win tonight’s Money in the Bank All-Stars match.

Ever since WrestleMania 29 earlier this year, the WWE product has seen arguably its biggest overhaul since the early Oughts when they figured out how to manage the influx of talent from their purchase of WCW. Its expanded, multiplatform storytelling strategies along with the new blood being placed in the main event scene has led to quite a few thoughts on the business swirling through my head.

This summer is a great time to be a WWE fan because we’re witnessing a bit of a renaissance, both in terms of talent elevation and how storylines unfold. We’re seeing a lot of relatively new faces being built into main eventers for the company, most notably Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler and CM Punk (who I realize has been around for awhile now, but he is still worth noting based on the astronomical leaps of faith WWE has put in him these past two years). Hell, they’ve finally managed to establish Mark Henry as a monster heel, and if John Cena weren’t booked as an unbeatable Superman every month, you’d think he would likely walk out of tonight’s Money in the Bank as the new champ.

Hunger Games: The Succulent Sixteen

In honor of both the impending release of The Hunger Games and March Madness, it only seemed appropriate to create a March Madness bracket to commemorate these two stars aligning. Disclaimer: this is based on my current knowledge of what The Hunger Games is, which is none. I assume it's some sort of food battle though.

That said, I proudly present to you The Succulent Sixteen. Mainly because I couldn't think of 64 food icons and personalities or how to put them into divisions.

The Succulent Sixteen

You can click that bracket to make it bigger, but for convenience, here are the different divisions and the competitors. Seeding is done by my discretion, which is why an obscure Gremlins 2 character has a higher seed than the Swedish Chef.

Notorious Food Lovers Division
1. Adam Richman - I wish I was half as passionate about anything as the Man v. Food host is about cuisine.
2. Paula Deen - Loves food so much she ate herself into diabetes.
3. Kobayashi - The man can eat hot dogs like nobody's business.
4. Barefoot Contessa - Nobody else can make a living out of loafing about enjoying food like this lady. At least, I think that's what she does.

Icon and Restaraunteur Division
1. Colonel Sanders - This man mass produced a recipe for chicken that's so good the KFC in my hometown ran out the day they reopened.
2. Slap Chop Guy - He may be a sleazeball, and I don't think he actually created the device, but boy does he talk it up a good game.
3. Bob Evans - This is the next best breakfast chain to IHOP. But IHOP doesn't have a name, so Bob Evans it is.
4 Mr. Food - He's the guy you see talking about on the news with a beard that says "Ooh, it's so good!"

Imaginary Culinist Division
1. Microwave With Marge - Ill-fated TV chef from Gremlins 2.
2. Swedish Chef - Yerupa doop a boop doop.
3. Chef - Specializes in salisbury steak for the children of South Park. Also, Scientology.
4. Jack Tripper - Three's Company character who always got into wacky misunderstandings. Lived like a playa (aka with two chicks).

Savory Symbol Division
1. Mr. Stay Puft - Physical manifestation of Gozer. Fond memory from the childhood of Ray Stantz.
2. "Original" Ray - Innovator of New York City pizza who I'm convinced is an urban legend.
3. Willy Wonka - Creepy candy dude.
4. Long John Silver - Fisherman who may have terrorized Jennifer Love Hewitt in a movie a couple times.

The Stupidest Movies of 2011

This was my snap review of Robots! in 3D.

Since I don't get paid to write about movies like many of the people I associate with, I have absolutely no obligation to see every film that comes out which allows me to curate my moviegoing decisions pretty well. Still, something will often slip through the cracks or my morbid curiosity will get the better of me so I always have a solid list of stinkers each year. Here are the movies that insulted my intelligence the most in 2011, presented in alphabetical odor order.

Digital comics are a good thing

I’ve been mulling over the big DC Comics announcement from yesterday and bemoaning a lot of things this presents from a storytelling standpoint (what will happen to Dick Grayson and all of the development Grant Morrison has given him? will there still be a Justice League International book?).  This has distracted me, and surely others, from considering the impact of the other half of that announcement - that DC Comics will be releasing their comics in a digital format the same day as the print editions are released

Brian Michael Bendis tweeted yesterday that it would kill local comic book shops.  That’s nonsense. It's simply a method to help facilitate a wider audience to have access to comics.

13 Year Old Me would have loved it.  In the wee town of Olean, NY, there’s a pretty tiny store that allegedly sells comics, but they really don’t get much in stock.  For example, when DC flagship event Blackest Night happened, I stopped in during my trip home for Christmastime to see if they had an issue and the guy working there had no clue what I was talking about.  The same goes with the frequency of theatrical releases becoming more readily available through video-on-demand while in theaters - Olean's movie theater would never play any arthouse films, and the closest theater that would is an hour and a half drive.  If technology like this prevents anyone in similar cultural dead zones from having to deal with a lack of access to things they're passionate about, I’m all for it.

Of course, Adult Me loves having a tangible product in his hands and is a compulsive collector of DVD's and comics. And since I live in a city where I can buy every comic that comes out each week, I’ll still be at my local comic book store every Wednesday. I know I’m not the only one.

I’d Really Like to See…Christopher Nolan Direct a Western

This originally appeared as part of Zoom In Online's weekly "I'd Really Like to See..." blog series on January 29, 2009... so don't expect this to mention Inception.

In his relatively short film career, Christopher Nolan has proven that he’s among the best filmmakers working today. He slowly gained notoriety for completely changing the way we look at film structure and the reliable narrator with Memento and in less than a decade of work he's helmed one of the biggest motion pictures of all time. While Nolan’s films typically share some similarities tonally and thematically, he’s proven he's admirably adept at directing a wide range of genres, from intimate thrillers such as Memento to big budget summer spectacles such as The Dark Knight. Taking into consideration his versatility and the characteristics seen in Nolan’s films, I’d like to see one of my favorite filmmakers diversify a bit further and take on one of my favorite, mostly forgotten genres: the Western.

I’d Really Like to See…A ‘King of Kong’ Feature Film

This originally appeared as part of Zoom In Online's weekly "I'd Really Like to See..." blog series on March 26, 2009.


Documentaries often have a stigma for being dry and boring. Although reality programs pass themselves off as a form of the documentary medium, they’re overly stylized, mostly scripted and forged to bring more entertainment value to the piece. Unfortunately, this often prevents people from giving docs a chance to open them up to worlds, often quirky, unbeknownst to them.

My personal favorite documentary is one that completely shatters these stereotypes of documentaries. The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters peers into the world of competitive Donkey Kong. While the concept seems silly and does not seem like a compelling subject for a documentary - there is, after all, a whole world ripe with socially, politically, emotionally relevant topics waiting to be discovered - the characters and their interactions turn out to be absolutely riveting.

I’d Really Like to See…’Criminal’ the Movie

This originally appeared as part of Zoom In Online's weekly "I'd Really Like to See..." blog series on February 26, 2009.

Most folks find comic books synonymous with superheroes. Considering how popular cinematic adaptations of Batman and Iron Man were this past year, it’s hard to separate the two. Many seem to forget that there was a time where the superhero genre was dormant in comics while other genres, such as horror comics from EC and adventuring comics (like those paid homage to in Watchmen’s comic-in-a-comic “Tales from the Black Freighter”), were more common to find in a long box than they are today. 

One of the best comics being released today is far from a superhero book. Writer Ed Brubaker and illustrator Sean Phillips bring pulp crime to four-color glory in their book “Criminal.” The “Criminal” books have a structure similar to beloved crime comic series “Sin City.” One thing that sets “Criminal” apart from “Sin City” (aside from the fact that Sean Phillips can draw really well, unlike Frank Miller) is that they waste no time setting up the mythology of their universe. 

I’d Really Like to See…More Absurd Musical Adaptations

This originally appeared as part of Zoom In Online's weekly "I'd Really Like to See..." blog series on December 18, 2008.

Yes, they adapted The Fly into an opera.

Years ago, there was an episode of “The Simpsons” that featured “Planet of the Apes: The Musical,” which was brilliant on multiple levels. In about 90 seconds, “The Simpsons” presented a fantastic "what if" that convinced me, and I’m sure plenty of others, that a Planet of the Apes musical should be made. The songs in the show incorporated some of the more popular moments of the film into catchy melodies with a wink to the viewer and took a grim science fiction tale, added song and dance numbers, and managed to maintain entertainment value (although it was in a very different way than the source material intended).

While at the moment we can only hope and dream for “Planet of the Apes: The Musical” to become a reality, there are other films taken from source material that seemingly should never be made into musicals. One of my favorite films of all time is Little Shop of Horrors. Who would have thought a Roger Corman film about a killer plant from outer space would form such a wonderful union with doo-wop song and dance numbers? And Little Shop is not alone. Alan Cumming, Kristen Bell, and Neve Campbell were among the stars of a 2005 film adaptation of Reefer Madness as a musical. That’s right -- the cult film that used to be shown in classrooms to preach the evils of marijuana. While they haven’t made them into films, there are on-stage productions of Evil Dead, The Toxic Avenger, and The Fly that exist or are in the development stages.

I'd Really Like to See... Geoff Johns write the next Superman film

This originally appeared as part of Zoom In Online's weekly "I'd Really Like to See..." blog series on December 11, 2008. Since a new Superman film is in the works, I thought it might have some good relevancy today.. even if we know Geoff Johns isn't going to be the scribe. Dammit.

A couple of months ago, Richard Donner (the original man to bring the Man of Steel to the silver screen) endorsed comic book super writer/man-god Geoff Johns for a job writing the next Superman film. I also noticed that his quote was picked up all over the place for weeks afterward, but nobody really took a deeper look why he would be a perfect fit. Geoff Johns has many qualifying characteristics. Not only is Donner endorsing him, but Donner also mentored the guy in his early days in the entertainment industry. Wizard Magazine has just named Johns’ run on Action Comics Best Book of 2008 and now he'll be redefining Superman’s origin in an upcoming miniseries. But for me personally, there is one primary reason above all that makes Geoff Johns the one and only man for this job: he made me believe Superman could be riveting.

Recap: New York Comic-Con 2010

Yes, that's Pedobear at the Michael Jackson booth. There's a joke somewhere here that writes itself. Photo by Karen Kemmerle (@kenobibear)

I'm generally skeptical of NYCC, mainly because all of the big ticket stuff is at the San Diego convention. However, this year I was anticipating it far more because a. it was several months after SDCC and b. there really wasn't that much news from SDCC, so I was hoping they would make up for it on the East Coast. Of course, I didn't get to see very many developments, but on the other hand it was a great experience. I also would have liked to write a bit more in real-time, but as you can find out from most people there, reception was awful, particularly if you were trying to use Twitter. And apparently, wireless costs $30 at the Javits Center, I heard? Aside from those couple of things, it was good times all around.

Danzig loves his cats

The end of my weekend was spent contributing to my favorite new Internet meme.

Jeff Lemire

Jeff Lemire is a writer and artist who I’m looking forward to seeing a lot more from. I haven’t read his Essex County trilogy, but I’m enthralled with Sweet Tooth and was fond of The Nobody (although it felt like so much more could have been there). Soon he’ll be writing a regular Superboy series and a feature for The Atom, which I’m especially excited about.

He does do his own art in his creator owned books, but will only be writing the superhero books. It makes sense because his art is so odd and unconventional in a way where it doesn’t fit in with what most other superhero comics look like (far beyond the likes of Frank Quietly or Gary Frank).

WWE presents In Your House: Empty Arena

Greetings, friends.

As you may have noticed it's been quite some time since I've been active on the ol' Blogger. However, recent going-ons at WWE have baffled me and drawn me out of the woodwork.

I haven't watched terribly much wrestling in recent years, with a good portion of that reason being that I don't have cable and another being that I haven't exactly been too impressed with what I've seen, but I do try to keep up on what's happening because I still like to try watching Wrestlemania or Royal Rumble if the opportunity comes around.

Today on Craigslist: Carrots of the Gods (or something like that)

Heaven can be yours in this can of TENDER BABY carrots. You will never know ULTIMATE BLISS until you sink your teeth into these TENDER BABY JEWELS OF NATURE. This sealed can is from my private preserves of NATURES FOODS which are jealously hidden from prying eyes by 10 foot thick walls and a pair of the most ferocious attack dogs on the continent. But fear thee not--when you pick up this priceless treasure it will be left in the hands of the lobby attendant in my apartment house. No ferocious dogs to deal with. Let me know when thou art arriving and I will leave them in your name. ONLY ONE OF THESE CANS WIL BE GIVEN TO ONE LUCKY APPLICANT!!!!!!!!!!

More information is here. Actually, it's the same information I just gave you.

Get this man in a Tim Burton film

Did the NYPD target me for a joke?

Last night I was walking from the subway to my apartment in Brooklyn, something I obviously do every night and have done every night for over a year now. I had my phone out and was 'Tweeting' as the kids call it, and this car cop is driving alongside me as does the 'beep beep' thing. You know, not the actual horn, but when they have the mini-siren kind of sound. Not sure if that makes any sense, but it was that.

Anyway, I thought nothing of it and kept walking. I wasn't doing anything wrong. Then they did it again and I look over and they're beckoning me to come over to the car. I walk over and there were two cops. The conversation that ensued between the cop in the passenger seat and I can be seen after the jump.

I’d Really Like to See…The ’Watchmen’ Not Suck

This originally appeared as part of Zoom In Online's weekly "I'd Really Like to See..." blog series.



Editor's Note: This blog contains SPOILERS about the "Watchmen" comic and film.

If you know me and/or follow this feature on the site, you should be well aware that I’m a pretty big comic book geek. It only seems inevitable that I should have something to say about this week’s adaptation of Alan Moore’s "Watchmen." Now I wouldn’t say that the book introduced me to comics or changed the way I look at them, and I may not even consider "Watchmen" my favorite thing by Alan Moore (seriously, check out his work on "Swamp Thing"), but it’s an absolute masterpiece no matter whether you're judging it as a graphic novel or standard novel (it's still one of the few graphic novels to be included on Time Magazine's Top 100 Novels of All Time).

Moore managed to add a level of maturity and moral complexity to superheroes that was not close to being matched until about 20 years later and he did it all while simultaneously incorporating the Golden and Silver Ages of comics and showing us how the medium has evolved in the Modern Age.

For the uninitiated, "Watchmen" follows a group of former masked vigilantes in an alternate version of our own reality (one which sees the recently re-elected Richard Nixon serving his third term as president in 1985). When one of their own is murdered, the heroes' investigation into the motives behind his death and a suspected plot to rid the world of all of the former avengers uncovers a conspiracy with much larger ramifications. That said, the novel takes full advantage of the comic medium and is a perfectly singular, self-contained work. In addition to the main story, Moore includes “source material” (articles and books written by or about characters in the universe) at the end of each chapter and the comic-within-a-comic "Tales from the Black Freighter" to add further layers to the story, characterization, and general themes of the piece. As one can imagine, these extra quirks to the book along with the generally massive scope of the story can make the film difficult to adapt from page to screen.

Random bits

Last time I posted something, I was having big dreams of writing all kinds of entries on here about various items. Obviously, that never happened, so find a combination of all these things after the jump.

I’d Really Like to See…Green Lantern Done Right on the Big Screen

This originally appeared as part of Zoom In Online's weekly "I'd Really Like to See..." blog series.

Sequels, prequels, and remakes are the most prominent tools Hollywood has employed to make sure they don't have to think of anything original to do for the next 10 or 12 years. With the recent success of Iron Man and Christopher Nolan's resurrection of the Batman franchise, they can now add comic book films to their arsenal of tools to stifle originality. Still, just because something is adapted from source material doesn't mean it can't be good (once again, Nolan) and some of the upcoming comic book adaptations have potential to be really good.

Recent Interweb newsers are indicating that the next film from the DC Universe to be fast tracked at Warner Brothers may very well be Green Lantern, and why shouldn't it be? Green Lantern's history is just as storied and rich as either Batman's or Superman's and if nothing else, he's worth mentioning for his continuous penchant for pissing off the Caped Crusader with his ability to overcome great fear - the primary weapon of the Dark Knight. Rumor has it that Martin Campbell of Casino Royale fame is attached to direct a script from Eli Stone’s Marc Guggenheim.