Today on Craigslist: Carrots of the Gods (or something like that)

Heaven can be yours in this can of TENDER BABY carrots. You will never know ULTIMATE BLISS until you sink your teeth into these TENDER BABY JEWELS OF NATURE. This sealed can is from my private preserves of NATURES FOODS which are jealously hidden from prying eyes by 10 foot thick walls and a pair of the most ferocious attack dogs on the continent. But fear thee not--when you pick up this priceless treasure it will be left in the hands of the lobby attendant in my apartment house. No ferocious dogs to deal with. Let me know when thou art arriving and I will leave them in your name. ONLY ONE OF THESE CANS WIL BE GIVEN TO ONE LUCKY APPLICANT!!!!!!!!!!

More information is here. Actually, it's the same information I just gave you.

Get this man in a Tim Burton film

Did the NYPD target me for a joke?

Last night I was walking from the subway to my apartment in Brooklyn, something I obviously do every night and have done every night for over a year now. I had my phone out and was 'Tweeting' as the kids call it, and this car cop is driving alongside me as does the 'beep beep' thing. You know, not the actual horn, but when they have the mini-siren kind of sound. Not sure if that makes any sense, but it was that.

Anyway, I thought nothing of it and kept walking. I wasn't doing anything wrong. Then they did it again and I look over and they're beckoning me to come over to the car. I walk over and there were two cops. The conversation that ensued between the cop in the passenger seat and I can be seen after the jump.

Um, did Superman and Lois just uh.....

Wednesday is probably the most notable day in my week because it's when comic books come out. Today I was reading Superman #679, and DC has been giving me high hopes for this new writer on the book because he's apparently been working closely with Man-god Geoff Johns, but there was something strange a-brewing in the latest issue.

Usually it's hard to avoid looking at a splash page or a half page panel before getting the whole picture. This is one instance where it was particularly gross. The last panel of the second page was this, and again, since the panel is so big this is the only thing I saw:

So I see that image and my inner monologue voice changes to that of Stan Hooper, a character Norm MacDonald plays on his comedy album who works at the Daily Planet in a sketch. Stan Hooper is in my head saying, "So.. those are some nice underwear you've got there, Lois."

But something more is amiss here....

Load the spaceship with rocket fuel! Load it with the Warriors!

Today at work I needed to clear out the ol' noggin with a good laugh. If you ask me and several other people, there are very few things in this world that are more reliable for a laugh than old wrestling promos as done by the Ultimate Warrior. For non-wrestling fans, he's probably the reason you dismiss sports entertainment so easily. For wrestling fans, you know him as the classic figure who says random shit and is now a radical right wing weirdo who says things like "Queering doesn't make the world work."

But again -- there was a time when he would say things that are funny just because he's a lunatic ranting and raving.Video analysis after the jump.