WWE presents In Your House: Empty Arena

Greetings, friends.

As you may have noticed it's been quite some time since I've been active on the ol' Blogger. However, recent going-ons at WWE have baffled me and drawn me out of the woodwork.

I haven't watched terribly much wrestling in recent years, with a good portion of that reason being that I don't have cable and another being that I haven't exactly been too impressed with what I've seen, but I do try to keep up on what's happening because I still like to try watching Wrestlemania or Royal Rumble if the opportunity comes around.

I've noticed that WWE has been having a lot of gimmick based pay-per-view programs lately based around popular concepts like Hell in a Cell or Tables, Ladders, and Chairs. Apparently, these have become so popular that the federation is going to extend it to some of the unpopular gimmick matches, such as Fatal Four Way, and matches that don't seem to make sense to base an entire show around, like Money in the Bank.

Let me circle back to Fatal Four Way specifically. This is a match where four guys wrestle each other at once. These matches are, in general, awful. There are too many people in the ring at once to make for much of an entertaining match, and I can't fathom having any desire to watch an entire show based around this. This also comes right after ditching Survivor Series, which is a similar situation with too many guys doing too many things at once, but that was a long-standing tradition at least.

But apparently they insist on doing this and creating inevitably awful PPV's in the process. I'd like to take this opportunity to make a few recommendations that would not necessarily make a good show, but it would be a spectacular disaster to behold at the very least. I'll even be so generous to lend some of the ideas we utilized back in the UWL days. And remember, think of these as the theme for an entire 3-hour wrestling card:
-Stretcher Match
-Hair vs. Hair
-Six Pack Challenge
-Bunkhouse Brawl-Gimmick Battle Royal (this is what we in UWL called a Jobber Rumble)
-the XFL (I don't know how, just make it work)
-Good Housekeeping Match
-Bra and Panties
-In Your House (not like the old PPV names, but more like the video game where things happened like Undertaking throwing ghosts at his opponents)
-the return of WCW's Road Wild, the epic PPV brought to you from a biker rally in Sturges, South Dakota
-Kennel From Hell
-Judy Bagwell on a Pole
-Empty Arena Match (this is referring to the actual match The Rock and Mankind had during a Super Bowl Halftime- not WCW wrestling in general)
-Slow Motion Rumble (like a regular Battle Royal, but everybody has to move in slow motion)
-Jimmy Can't Win (as I recall, this was Jimmy in a 6-match gauntlet, but he wasn't allowed to win any of them)
-Finger Poke

On top of that, I'd like to see some kind of wrestling show that pays homage to some of the great storylines WWE has presented us, like the whole Katie Vick thing or that period where the Big Boss Man was driving around with the Big Show's dad's coffin tied to the back. And that time the Rock threw Austin off a bridge.